Movie: X-Men: First Class

Posted By: Todd McClintock

This comic book-based movie received pretty good reviews, but why listen to them? We have some inside scoops that will help you decide whether or not this movie is worth having to sit in a movie theater filled with sweaty nerds shouting about inconsistencies with the source material. 

(Warning: possible spoilers, though the movie has been out for a while)

ITEM #1: 3rd DRAFT SCRIPT NOTES

Found in a stack of papers in a pre-production office.

Notes by storywriter Bryan Singer.

(page 112)

...and you can cut down the dialogue between Magneto and Mystique a bit after he emerges from the wreckage. I much prefer the fight sequence described for Magneto and Prof. X in this draft, good job on making sure they hold back a little bit because of their history. I didn't so much like the way in which Prof. X becomes paralyzed. I get what you're doing, and it's okay for this 3rd draft, but here's some ideas more along the lines of what I had in mind for his paralysis:

~Cerebro has a mechanical malfunction while he's inside and the falling metal hits his lower back

~Azazel accidentally teleports into Prof. X's spine

~Magneto throws a metal wheelchair at him in a gripping retirement-home fight scene (irony?)

~Playing chess with Magneto, he gets up and slips on a chess piece and falls, landing on another chess piece (maybe a bishop? we could play up the gag of the most phallic chess piece almost going into his butt? but instead it paralyzes him?). Also, he loses the chess game.

~Tee ball practice accident in scene 26

~Stung by a box jellyfish in the ocean that paralyzes him but also gives him the power to glow in the dark.

~He tries his telepathy powers on the livestock around his mansion. trampled by cows. (future b-story about for his preference for veal?)

~In one of the first scenes of the movie, when young Mystique meets young Charles, what if Mystique drop-kicks him and paralyzes him then? Just get it out of the way? Wouldn't have to pay McAvoy as much because he'd be on wheels the whole time? Speaking of which, is there any way we could paralyze Kevin Bacon's character?

~He could read Emma Frost's mind while she is reading his mind, so he ends up reading HIS OWN MIND...and somehow that paralyzes him.

Y'know what? What if we just don't paralyze him? He'd be able to do so much stuff! Walk?! SO MUCH! I'm calling Stan Lee right now.

ITEM #2: QUESTIONNAIRE RESULTS

The following questionnaire, composed by an anonymous EBR contributor, was filled out by Rich Fraumer, special effects supervisor for X-Men: First Class.

1) What was your favorite special effects sequence in the film?

The sequence where Banshee first learns to fly with his squirrel suit. That was the sequence that I spent the most time on, because I wanted it to look absolutely perfect and believable.

2) What film is your biggest special effects inspiration?

I think the first Harry Potter movie was a milestone for special effects. The quidditch scene was, and still is, the standard to which I hold all special effects in modern cinema.

3) The quidditch scene?  In the first Harry Potter?

Wait. What? How did you...? This is some questionnaire.

4) You mean the scene where a bunch of computerized figures that are barely classifiable as human beings fly around a shiny, flat background? Where the people look like cardboard cutouts that are being manipulated by a popsicle stick?

Hey, now, I don't appreciate you putting down a classic! That scene was a triumph for the technology of the time.

5) Yeah, for the technology of the time, that doesn't mean that ten years later it looks ANY good, you idiot!

Hey! I used the same technology to make the Banshee flight scene in X-Men.

6) Oh, did you?

Yes. 

7) Uh huh.

What's that supposed to mean?

8) Oh, like you don't know.

ALRIGHT! For the Banshee flight sequence we used the footage from the quidditch match from the first Harry Potter movie, but digitally removed all the brooms and extra people. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! What could I do? They spent so much of our budget filming alternate ways that Prof. X could be paralyzed. Of course it looks shitty, but ten years ago, it would have been considered a triumph! A FUCKING TRIUMPH! COMPUTERS COST MONEY!

Thank you for completing our questionnaire. Have a nice day. Asshole.



 ITEM #3: PAGE FROM DAY PLANNER
The following schedule was recovered from the desk of Stan Lee, former president of Marvel comics and creator of the X-Men.


April 7th, 2011
11:00a: climb out of life-size incredible hulk pajama chamber and take a shower.
11:13a: clean up streams of shampoo from web-slinging in the shower
11:30a: eat cereal out of magneto helmet
11:45a: put on magneto helmet and think
12:30p: drive to FX studio for new cartoon series pitch
12:32p: think of a new cartoon series to pitch to FX (maybe something with a superhero?)
12:45p: pitch meeting
1:30p: Jerri's Deli for lunch; order the "Stan Lee" sandwich*
2:00p: film cameo for X-Men first class take a nap
4:15p: stand on rooftop of skyscraper and loudly remind city "Have no fear."
5:00p: Dinner with Mark Ruffalo
6:00p: start search for new Hulk
7:30p: make public statement dispelling rumors of involvement in "Fantastic 4"pornography film
8:00p: write an ending to that godforsaken Fantastic 4 porno! (NOTE: when Invisible Woman is invisible, all we see are dicks. FIX THAT!)
9:00p: fall asleep counting money


*(the Stan Lee sandwich at Jerri's Deli in Hollywood is a turkey sandwich on wheat bread with mayonnaise and a scoop of egg salad. They were all made fresh 30 years ago and have since been preserved on the bottom shelf of a freezer)