Posted By: Katelyn Hempstead, Omri Kruvi, and Todd McClintock
Sometimes movies break records, and this movie is no exception. Sure it was well-reviewed, and sure it made more money than than there is in the universe, but sometimes you have to know what's goin on back here *pointing behind the scenes*. We've done all the research to help you decide whether or not pouring more money into the throat of this movie studio is a good idea.
ITEM #1: EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 brought to a finish the epic tale of wizardry and romance that began with the first film in 2001. With it came a new phase in the lives of its young stars. But there was one relative unknown who appeared for the first time in this film, electrifying the screen with his extraordinary presence and raw talent. In the last half of the film, he established himself both as a consummate actor, and a dyed-in-the-wool – or should we say cotton? – star. Material Culture sat down with the man of the hour recently.
Material Culture Writer, Jane Hesmer: So how did you first become interested in the film?
Daniel Radcliffe's Corduroy Jacket #3: Well like any young person I loved the books. Of course I was made in 2010, so I had to SparkNotes them pretty quickly before filming started. What really drew me was the range of the part. I mean, it’s incredible! From that moment with Ginny on the stairs where she runs her hand under my collar, to the scene in the Forbidden Forest, to the penultimate moment of the film when we're standing in the rubble. It’s the kind of role you dream about.
MC: And how did you get the role?
CJ: I guess you could say it all started with Jany.
MC: Jany?
CJ: Oh, Jany is just wonderful! She’s been the costume designer for all 8 movies. A genius, absolutely a genius. Anyway she was really my mentor in this whole thing. She was pulling for me from day one. She found me in a thrift store, actually, and we just went from there.
MC: So you never had to audition.
CJ: No. And you know, I feel guilty about it. I do. Because just about every other garment did. That red dress of Emma’s in part 1 of DH (we got to calling it DH on the set for short, little inside joke) anyway that dress almost got cut three times. Three times! And of course, once they got her on camera she was a natural.
MC: Do I sense a hint of romance?
CJ: Oh no, no. We’re just friends. She’s actually seeing a pair of Jacob’s Levis from Twilight. But you didn’t hear it from me.
MC: Of course. But can you tell us anything about your private life? Any sweethearts.
CJ: I don’t mean to be coy, but… Well I just don’t like to go into it. My private life. You understand.
MC: That’s why you haven’t addressed the gay rumors?
CJ: Yes. I have nothing against gay people, my cousin is gay. No on Prop H8 and the like. I just have no desire to make my private life public.
MC: My apologies. I notice you have a bit of a Welsh twang, that must have been hard to hide for the movie.
CJ: You’ve caught me. Yes, my family is Welsh.
MC: Sorry, your family?
CJ: Yes.
MC: I don’t quite understand.
CJ: Oh, you mean because I’m a jacket.
MC: Right.
CJ: (laughs gently) Yes, that tends to throw people off. Actually I come from a large family. I was the 400th of 6,000 brothers. Middle child, for what that’s worth. We came off the production line together, and we’ve stayed close. Family is important to me, always has been.
MC: And you see them often?
CJ: I do. I saw a cousin just the other day on the Tube – you Yanks call it a subway. Blue corduroy. Lovely chap. Great cook.
MC: I’m gonna let that one go.
CJ: Sorry?
MC: Nothing. Just one last question if you don’t mind.
CJ: Not at all, this is great fun. Nothing like the 60 Minutes interview.
MC: You’re very gracious. I think a lot of our readers are wondering what’s next for you. Hollywood? Broadway?
CJ: Well I’m looking at scripts for some really spectacular films right now. A Spielberg, and a great indie film by Rian Johnson. But in the meantime I’ll be guest starring on The Big Bang. Just a small role, covering Jim Parsons, but I can’t wait to try my hand at comedy. And from there, who knows?
MC: Exciting! Now, follow-up question, are you mad at all that some of your fellow cast-members, like Dumbledore's robe, Lupin's cardigan buttons, and Cho Chang's lightsaber have made it into the smithsonian for public viewing? It's sort of like an early retirement for them, right? Hahaha.
CJ: (after a long, humorless silence, looking contemplative) This interview is over.
ITEM #2: BOOK REPRINT NOTES
After the success of the Harry Potter films, J.K. Rowling has decided to re-release the book series after editing them to appeal to the movie crowd. The publishers have yet to agree to the proposal, but EBR has recovered a list of book alterations written by Rowling herself.
- The death of Lupin and Tonks should be reduced to one sentence; that sentence being “Lupin and Tonks died too.”
- The childhood of Albus Dumbledore is no longer relevant and will be replaced with Harry saying “I don’t care about what happened with you and your brother” to Aberforth, Dumbledore’s brother.
- After further consideration, the entire Dumbledore family will be erased from the series.
- Mr. Weasley's reaction to the death of his son: bored. He has a twin, after all, he broke even.
- Neville will be more explicitly described as “hotter”
- Crabbe will now be diversified and “from the hood”
- Several paragraphs of Filch being an idiot will be added.
- Every book will open with a half page description of what it is like flying through the WB logo followed by flying through the book title surrounded by ominous clouds
- change any description of Snape to the phrase “He looks like that guy from Dogma”
- The final page of the book will include a note saying “based on the movie by David Yates”
- “pum pummm pada pummm pammm pummm pummmmm” (Harry Potter theme song composed by John Williams) will be sporadically distributed throughout the book
- Harry will be continuously called out by the narrator for his poor representation of any sort of emotion.
- There will be an added Drama course in Hogwarts, which all students flunk
- The book concludes with Harry, Ron, and Hermoine receiving 50 million dollars
- The epilogue will be changed to a trailer of Draco in Planet of the Apes, Harry on Broadway, Hermoine dropping out of Brown, and Ron.
ITEM #3: SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES
A very powerful movie studio (that shall remain nameless for legal reasons) known for their animated features is notorious for supposedly putting subliminal sexual messages in their films. Not to be outdone, the people at Warner Bros. were not shy about adding hidden explicit material to the last installment of the Harry Potter franchise. Here are just a few examples:
What's going on with this promotional picture of Griphook?
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